oh youre a son? name 5 of your parents
Discussions with besties
THE WORST FEELING EVER IS WHEN YOURE SO ENTHUSIASTIC TELLING SOMEONE SOMETHING AND YOU CAN JUST PHYSICALLY FEEL THEM NOT CARING AT ALL SO YOU TRY HARDER BUT YOU JUST CANNOT GRASP THEIR ATTENTION SO YOU SLOWLY FADE OUT AND LET THEM GO BACK TO DOING WHAT THEY DO AND YOU WANT TO APOLOGIZE FOR TAKING TIME OUT OF THEIR DAY TO TELL THEM SOMETHING YOU’RE HAPPY ABOUT
me: goes to see someones blog
me: actually u kno what nvm
realising that we’re almost halfway through the year 2013 and i have literally achieved nothing
realising that you’re reading this almost halfway trough 2014 and still haven’t achieved nothing
"hello 911 i’d like to report a murder in th-" "haha, wow you’re a little snitch. hold on a sec. HEY DAVE, CHECK OUT THIS FUCKIN SNITCH ON LINE THREE"
mermaids don’t have thigh gaps but they can still lure men to their deaths
I want 0 responsibilities and a lot of lingerie
oh looks its i hate myself o’clock
It’s amazing how fast your mood can change after you step in some water with socks on.
i’m on a seafood diet. i only eat seafood
that’s not how the joke goes lmao
do my weight loss goals seem like a fucking joke to you
when you accidentally make a baby cry and you don’t know what to do to get it to stop
"You think he’s cute? Have you tried telling him?"